July 2009

Can Your Cat or Dog Talk?

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When I used to hear about talking pets on TV or through friends, I would always scoff. I’m usually open to pretty much everything, but I figured that these people had to be making this stuff up. If a cat or dog can talk, why can’t all pets talk, I thought.

It turns out that these people must be onto something. A few weeks ago, our cat, Fuego, a very handsome tabby, surprised us all with a little bit of cat chat of his own. Fuego is about six years old, but we’ve only had him for two of those years, since we adopted him from the Humane Society. Since then, he’s proven to be a rather stereotypical lazy boy, and we adore him. But he also did something that made me scared out of my mind.

He talked.

At first, when we heard this strange, ungodly sound—a very guttural, groaning, “Nonononononono!”

HELP! I think my cat may be EMO!

I don't know how I didn't notice it as it was happening, but now I see clearly that my cat is an EMO. At first I thought it was the heat that was making my kitty moody, but it's been weeks now and he only seems to have gotten worse.  I found cd of My Chemical Romance in his stereo, and he's growing increasingly wimpy. 

I feel terribly guilty for not stopping this before went too far. Is there any chance that I can get my happy kitty back? Or is it too late? I need help!

 

If Cats Could Talk (part one)

Setting: late at night, in the dark bedroom, in the dark apartment Enter Ten, the opinionated tortoiseshell cat. Loudly. Stomping.

Translation of cat-conversation as follows:

Ten: Oh, garçon? I need some of those delicious little chicken-shaped cat treats.

Me: Mmm-hmmm. I'm sleeping, cat. Stop swatting my nose. What are you howling about? And what did you just call me?

Ten: Whatever. Get up. I'm bored. Also, I'm hungry. Those little chicken-shaped cat treats should do nicely, I think. Right away, please? Chop-chop!

Me: Do you understand what time it is? I was asleep. Some of us work, you know, to pay for those kitty treats you like so much. And we didn't get the chicken treats, this time. You said you didn't like them anymore. Here. Have some nice salmon-flavored kitty treats.

Are Cats Manipulative?

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This is an entirely brave and quite possibly stupid thing that I am going to do on a site famous for Cat Lovers the world round. I am about to warn you about your cats. Yes, they are adorable and cute. Yes, they are much more independent than dogs (though maybe not as intelligent), but did you realize that it has been clinically proven that house cats are manipulative?

I know, imagine that, a manipulative feline.....How do our whiskered friends do it? According to Karen McComb of the University of Sussex, the cats hide "an urgent cry" or "otherwise unpleasant meowing sound" underneath a usually pleasant purr. Aha, now you know the secret language of cats.

Should Cats Be Declawed?

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San Francisco is considering a ban against declawing cats, and they have a valid point. Without their claws, cats can be virtually defenseless—especially if left abandoned by their owners.

San Francisco Commission of Animal Control and Welfare Chair Sally Stephens says that it’s a barbaric practice used for cosmetic reasons only, so people won’t have to worry about shredded furniture. She also says that the procedure includes cutting off the last bone in a cat’s paw, which can cause long-term pain and even behavioral changes—even if anesthetic is used in the surgery.

De-clawing is already banned in West Hollywood and several European countries, though exceptions can be made if the cat’s health is in danger.

Some changes that a cat may experience following de-clawing can include: