When I was a kid I loved going to the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles. The sabertooths were my favorite. 

People always used to call them sabertooth tigers but then I found out that they weren't really tigers. The preferred nomenclature is "saber-toothed cat." Kinda dorky, but the animal is still wicked cool. 

Check out these teeth!

Saber-toothed Cat Skull

Photo from http://www.nps.gov/hafo/naturescience/sabertooth-cat.htm

Very prestigious hypnotherapists at work.“You’re getting very—mreow—sleepy… You want to give me your shoes to vomit in as I please—mreow… You suddenly want to let me have my way with the goldfish, shed all over your favorite jacket and use your mattress as a scratching post…”

If cats could hypnotize us, we’d all be in trouble. They already have the entire family under their control to some extent in most households, and if there’s anything that a cat wants most, it’s world domination—and, according to Disney, the baby’s milk.

(Does it seem to you that they have a bit of a bias against cats? Sure, they tried to redeem themselves a bit in The Aristocats, but most other Disney felines seem like they’re evil compared to Disney dogs.)

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Hey. You're not busy, are you? You are? Yeah, I'm feeling kinda lonely and needy right now, so I'm still gonna bug you. Are you listening? How about now? Hey, pay attention to me. Okay, now that you're paying attention to me I've lost all interest in you. I'm gonna go over here now and take a nap, but I'll be back later when I want something.

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Crazy Cat LadyBy far, the craziest breed of pet owner has to be the feline fanatic. I mean, what other pet owners have their own class of crazy attributed to them(as well as their own action figure!)? And Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome is no joke!

What's really baffling is that in their obsession with their cats, Crazy Cat People will do the weirdest things to these innocent, yet useless animals. Don't believe me? Check out these cats in costume. These cats don't look amused or cute in the costumes made by, or picked by their misguided and possibly unstable owners.

Cat Costume Horrors!

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Both my mother and my brother were allergic to cats when I was growing up. Consequently, I never spent much time around the animals. Recently I moved into a new apartment with a friend who has two cats, so I've started to learn about them in something of a crash course. Here's what I've learned about Felis Catus since switching residences.

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Taking care of cats is pretty simple, right? You change the litter box, you feed them every day, and you take them to the vet, and give them a little time and affection. Unlike many dogs, most cats are generally pretty self-reliant. You give them the basics, and they’re pretty much on their own.

But that doesn’t mean that Princess and Boots don’t want your attention. No matter how aloof or snobbish any cat may seem, deep down he or she loves you and wants your affection. (That’s not to say that some cats aren’t open about it in the first place; there are plenty of loving, purr-able cats who aren’t shy when it comes to demanding attention!)

To many cat owners, cats are members of the family. So why not treat them as such? Here are some things you can do to help show your cat how much you love her.

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I swedish fishrealize that for someone to love cats and find this video is probably deeply pathological, but it does make me snicker. And I think that guy used to ride my bus sometimes . . .

We have a great story about a feral cat and me in our family. To sum it up briefly, I attempted to lure one into our car one evening in the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant, much to the delight of the rest of the passengers in the car. The cat declined my invitation of French fry morsels, and now the running joke when we see a feral cat is if I’m going to get out and try to “catnap” it or not.

Looking back, I know my heart was in the right place, but what if that cat had been dangerous? My child was in the car, after all! While I shouldn’t be prowling the streets, trying to abduct and “save” homeless cats in our already pet-filled home, there are still things that I can do for feral cats in general, and I hope that you are moved to do so, as well.

October 16 is National Feral Cat Day. To participate, all you need is an open mind and a caring heart for cats.

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This is what the internet is really good for. Forget spam, forget porn, forget 24-hour-news access...you can watch kittens!

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